How to Tell if Someone Is Insecure on Social Media
1 / fifteen
Y'all deed like Mary Poppins
She boasted about beingness "practically perfect in every way," and then do you lot. The deviation is you're a real man beingness, insecurities and all. "Insecurity tin present in many ways and is often dependent on the underlying cause, and the person'south personality type. For example, people with narcissistic personality disorder tend to exist insecure individuals, who present a 'false self,'" neuropsychologist Rhonda Q. Freeman, PhD tells Reader's Digest. "People with this disorder too have a hypersensitivity to any criticism, even if it's benign," she adds. This doesn't mean that everyone who brags a bit is a narcissist, simply information technology does hateful that your demand to show off is hiding an insecurity that may be holding yous back. If you brag in 1 of these 10 ways, you lot won't come off sounding like a jerk.
two / xv
Y'all lead with your sexuality
Your desire to sleep with someone shortly afterward coming together them may have more to do with insecurity than libido. "Some insecure people trade on their sexuality. They experience that offering sex, or sexual favors volition brand people want them. By creating that want, they feel favored, and accepted, which offsets their insecurity," says human relationship advice adept April Masini. Having sex with someone before you get to know them may eliminate the opportunity to communicate honestly (or at all). For someone who is insecure, this can exist a class of hiding out. If y'all don't spend time talking or sharing experiences outside of the bedroom, yous don't accept to worry about being rejected for who you really are.
3 / 15
You're a disagreement motorcar
Someone who is insecure may constantly try to testify they are smart by pointing out flaws in other people's opinions. If someone says the sky is blue, the insecure person will not only state that it is green simply volition reference scientific data to prove they are correct and everyone else is wrong. "An insecure person may have the inability to take another person's signal of view," says Remi Alli, JD, MS, a legal scholar, who is certified in culling dispute management. This desire to e'er be right diminishes others, making them experience insignificant and stupid. The insecure person can just experience safe if they put others downwards, elevating themselves, in contrast.
4 / fifteen
You become a shrinking violet
Someone who is insecure may literally shrink down a size if they are in a social state of affairs they are uncomfortable in or tin't control. "People who are insecure get small. Under stress and tension, people go into 'freeze, flight, fall, or faint' response. In the freeze response, people who lack confidence are more likely to 'get pocket-sized,' keeping their legs, and anxiety closer together, and their arms close to their sides, with their palms subconscious. They get tense, so y'all may run across their hands or artillery stiffen and tense up, equally well as get tightly close to the body," says body linguistic communication skilful Patti Forest, MA.
5 / 15
You're an unrelenting people pleaser
Do you always put yourself final and never advocate for your own interests? If you e'er let someone else decide where to consume and what moving picture to see, it'southward a sign that yous're insecure—and it may not seem like a big deal until information technology comes to life decisions, such as which house to buy, whose career y'all'll relocate for, and whether or not to have kids.
"Someone who is anxious, or who might take a history of psychological trauma, can present their insecurity via people pleasing," says Dr. Freeman. People pleasers may too wind upward making bad decisions considering they won't stand up for themselves even in dicey or dangerous situations. "Insecure people go on with the crowd instead of standing their ground because they don't feel potent plenty to say what they think or to weather condition pushback," says Masini. Do y'all think you're a people pleaser? If so, these 12 tips you lot need for setting salubrious boundaries might aid you.
6 / 15
Y'all're an arrogant y'all-know-what
You're haughty, put on arrogance, and act like y'all're superior to everyone else in the room (or company, or campus). Y'all're also panicking deep downward within because y'all fear that someone will find you out and blow your cover. According to PsychMechanics, your big-headed behavior is a encompass designed to protect your ego and feelings of self-worth. In other words, you're insecure and doing everything in your ability to hide it from the earth.
vii / 15
Y'all can't maintain centre contact
Eye contact is a form of nonverbal advice, which enables people to connect and understand each other intuitively. Insecure people sometimes take trouble making and maintaining eye contact because they fear the transparency this blazon of closeness may bring. "Research indicates that in another person'south eyes, we tin read not merely basic emotions, such equally happiness, or sadness, but also, over 50 different mental states, such equally excitement, or boredom," says Woods.
8 / 15
You use everyday objects as armor
Do you caput for the nearest couch at a party, clutching a throw pillow to your center? If then, y'all may exist endmost your "windows" to hide insecurity about your body, brain, or all of the higher up, according to Wood. "People who lack conviction may feel more comfy when they close their body windows. We all accept 'windows' all over our bodies—including our eyes, rima oris, throat, upper chest, and the palms of our hands. People who lack conviction may close their windows by zipping upwardly a jacket or putting on a pair of sunglasses. Women may hold a purse in front of their bodies, kids may identify their school books in front end of their chests, and men may hold a beverage at breast level, she explains. There is a reason this made our list of the 14 things confident people don't practise.
9 / fifteen
You avoid contact
Some insecure people can trace their feelings back to babyhood and the relationship they had with distant parents. Co-ordinate to Psych Alive, this is known as insecure-avoidant attachment. "Insecure people with avoidant insecure traits effort to be self-reliant, living alone, eating solitary, and hesitating to get out. They watch a lot of TV or [spend a lot of time on the] Internet, says Beak Eddy LCSW, a therapist, mediator, and co-founder of The High Conflict Institute. "They may steer clear of interacting with others, and avert contact when they see someone they know in a oversupply," he adds.
x / 15
You're a bobble-head doll
"I trait of insecure people is that they tend to nod, and agree even when information technology'southward not how they feel. This is considering they'd rather non make waves by speaking their truth," says Masini. This inability to rock the boat is often based on a deep desire to be liked, no matter what the cost. "Insecure people take problem maxim no. They tend to say "yes" because they think you'll like them amend if they do. Instead of staying true to themselves, they have on more they can handle or things they don't want to do to manipulate your perception of them. This approval makes them experience more secure. Insecure people would rather be liked than be genuine," she adds.
eleven / 15
You are defensive
You tin can't stand losing an statement and turn down to—especially if it's about something integral to your sense of self. "Insecure people may display unnecessary defensive responses to comments that threaten their core behavior," says Alli. According to Mental Help, emotionally-defensive behaviors are meant to eliminate feeling like a failure or seeing yourself negatively—two outcomes insecure people simply can't risk in front of others.
12 / fifteen
You're a clinging vine
Some insecure people brandish a cluster of behaviors that Eddy calls "clinging vine" insecure traits. These include seeking reassurance constantly with excessive phone calls and emails to brand sure they are secure in their relationship. The insecure clinging vine is also jealous of the positive connections other people have and feels threatened if their romantic partner interacts with anyone else. They may feel diminished by genuine affection between others and are jealous of their partner's friendships with anyone else. The insecure clinging vine is afraid to lose control, so they endeavour to command everyone else effectually them, specially their partner.
13 / 15
You talk too much, except for when y'all don't
Maybe it shows upwards as an power to handle the silences between words, or peradventure you lot just tin't finish talking about yourself: Many insecure people are incessant talkers—except for when they're not. "Talking too much, or not talking at all, is a telltale sign of insecurity," says Wood. "Insecure people are self-focused rather than connection-focused, so they don't pick on normal conversational cues. This ways they don't recognize basic interaction rituals, such every bit how to say hello, and cheerio, or when it's their turn to talk or mind," she adds. Here are eight signs you're a conversational narcissist.
14 / 15
You're the first i to hang up—always
Conversations and honest interactions make you anxious, so y'all always finish telephone calls and in-person conversations as quickly as possible. "When in a conversation, insecure people await for excuses to end it and become away," says Eddy. Insecure people have less interest in others and may monopolize the conversation and and then end it abruptly, in one case the topic turns to anything, other than themselves.
15 / fifteen
Your "tells" would make you a lousy poker player
We all have nervous tics, simply insecure people volition take more than usual, which Wood calls comfort cues. One is guarding the oral fissure: "The oral cavity is the window to the truth, so covering our mouths is quite symbolic. We tin cover our mouth when we do not desire someone to know we're upset, lying, or if we're suppressing a negative thought. We put our easily over our mouths so the truth won't come out," she says. Insecure people may too brand many rubbing motions, to give themselves cocky-assurance. They also may have holding or body-hugging motions. "When we were picayune, and anxious, or scared, our parents held onto u.s., and the holding motion assured united states that everything would be OK. As adults, when nosotros are broken-hearted, or afraid, we echo these motions, to reassure ourselves that everything is going to be all right," she adds. Insecurity is incredibly common. The good news? Confidence is overrated.
Originally Published: April 24, 2019
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